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Top 5 times Johnny Blamer proved how unlucky he really is
Five times Blamer proved how unlucky he really is. 5. 1999 Boston 350. Blamer can't attend due to drinking hot sauce instead of ketchup. Spike: Oh my god! Blamer drank hot sauce! He's coughing, he's spinning, and he's flipping! Pinkie: Already? BEFORE THE RACE! BEFORE THE FREAKIN' RACE! Spike: I know. It's ridiculous. He somehow mistook hot sauce for ketchup! (At the inside of the track. Johnny is spinning flipping coughing screaming and jumping) Johnny: AH AH HOT SO HOT HOTTER THAN THE PLANET MERCURY THIS IS SO HISTORICALLY HOT GIVE ME A RIVER OR GIVE ME A HUNDRED MILLION BARRELS OF TANK COAT MILKSHAKE! I CAN'T (Popeye Toot) DO THIS! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! NOOOOO!!! MASSIVELY HISTORICALLY HOT ITS HOTTER THAN TEXAS!!! IT'S HOTTER THAN (Seal Bark) MERCURY!! (Johnny races faster than Jackson Storm and Lightning McQueen COMBINED and jumps instantly in the hotel's fountain.) Johnny: I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE THAT HORRIBLE HOT SAUCE AGAIN! SCREW YOU BEN'S HOT SAUCE!!! (bawls very hard) 4. 2000 Gasprin 400. Blamer can't attend due to getting stuck in a bathroom Spike: Oh my freaking god. It's one thing to not attend due to hot sauce. But not attending due to getting stuck in a freaking bathroom is entirely another. Pinkie: Just freaking ridiculous. Just freaking ridiculous. (Johnny Team Radio) Johnny: How the (Dolphin Censor) did I (Dolphin Censor) get HERE?!?! I'm not supposed to (Dolphin Censor) stay here!! (Johnny starts to cry) Johnny: I don't (Dolphin Censor) deserve this! Why the (Air horn) the (Popeye toot) is this place doing here!? (He cries deeper) 3. 2000 N20 Cola 400 at Talladega. Blamer crashes and retires on the way to the pits. Spike: Blamer's in the pits. (Johnny team radio) Johnny: Did I retire? Johnny's Crew Chief: Yes! Johnny: (Popeye Toot) you morons! God dang it! (Johnny cries) 2. 1995 Florida 500. Blamer throws a winning lottery ticket (he thought it was fake) on the roadside, grabbed by a minivan who wins it. Johnny: Oh, a ticket. Probably fake. Minivan: Hey you son of a B-WORD!! It's mine. Johnny: But. Minivan: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING PIECE OF MOTHER-F-WORD BULL-S-WORD. Johnny: But. Minivan: N-WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Johnny cries deeply) (Later on the news, the minivan has won the 120000 dollars lottery) Minivan: I WON THE LOTTERY OF 1995!!! (Pre-Race Team Radio) Johnny: Why am I so unlucky! This is not fair. I shouldn't have dropped that (Dolphin Censor) ticket. (Dolphin Censor) my luck... 1. 1998 Memphis 400. Johnny nearly wins but punctures tire on third last lap Pinkie: So close to winning Johnny punctures a tire! Spike: NO! NOOOOO! Pinkie: NO! WHY STUPID TIRE? STUPID PITTIES! Spike: Argh! Pinkie: And just like that his race is over. Again! (Johnny deeply cries) Johnny: (Dolphin Censor)!! YOU WERE RIGHT, CREW CHIEF!! I DO SUCK AT RACING!!! (He continues to cry even deeper) NOTE: The winner is The King. Category:Top 20/15/10/7/5/3 Moments